It has been a whole year today since I’ve graduated with my degree in marketing and communication studies; a whole year since I have made an independent living; a year of self-exploration and choices that rely more on me than anyone else. I will say this: nothing has been easy, choices are hard. Emotions have gone from ecstatic joys and plentiful moments of happiness, to anticipation mode and days where I’ve let my tears fall. Life after college is another momentus change and challenge in one’s own life, it is where you transition from a life of learning to learning in new ways, all towards your more-clear purpose. It’s another journey to be had.

08 May 2021 - Resilience revisted

I recall my graduation speech as if it was being given yesterday. I talked about resilience. I remember recalling my closests friends — sharing their moments — defining individuals who hold this True Resilience, whilst also complimenting the resilience of my classmates as we took on a pandemic, and racial inequality, among much more. All while continuing education. However, I want to revisit that idea of being resilient.

A year into life, I see now that resilience isn’t the word. Resilience implies failing and upholding oneself, competing with one another to stay strong and steadfast. Life is not a competition. It is an experience to be had, and if you don’t stop and flourish in those moments every once and awhile, before you know it, it’s gone. I look at yoga for example. You improve in yoga as a practice, not necessarily through resilience but in the experience. Resilience aids you to continue this practice, but does not allow you to continue this practice. That continuation falls on you. You are the walker, the see-er, and the talker. You choose when to experience those moments of sight, of sound, and of movement. Use those experiences. Those are what have helped me get to where I am, and to know where I am going.

It’s become clear: nothing compares to the experiene for-which your resilience has supported. Remember those moments of being resilient fuel the experience, they are not the experience. Those moments prepare you, they are not you.

11 May 2021 - Rebooting personal joy in a stressful professional world

Upon my graduation from Buena Vista University, I knew I wasn’t ready to enter the professional world or go toward my next degree. During the height of the covid-19 pandemic (one of-which is not over) my wellbeing suffered. This pandemic was more about being vaccinated as a political stance over an actual care of and about self and one’s wellbeing. It opened my eyes to how we’ve culminated as a society, and reminds me that more work is to be done. But first, a break.

I’ve always been fascinated with anxiety, depression, moments of happiness, experiences of joy, and my excursion to the rural wilderness of Custer State Park, SD, revealed to me that nature plays huge role in our wellbeing, our ability to develop coping mechanisms, and provides moments that cannot be recreated.

I am so thankful for the experiences I had in this place. The ways I was able to develop as a person are in ways that I do not think I am yet able to show. But, I know I’ve changed through this experience.

Stepping away from the world, in a way, allowed me to reboot my personal joy in a stressful professional world — a world that sucks at slowing down. It allowed me to build new habits and coping mechanisms for my own anxiety that have allowed me to build compensation for the stresses to come.

I see now the importance of nature. I hope others follow.

19 July 2021 - Entering the professional world

While exploring the depths of nature and personal wellbeing, I also took that as a time to explore who I want to be in the world, from a personal purpose to a professional environment. I had to ask myself, “Who am I?”, “What do I want to do?”, I even asked, “Am I ready for this?”, “Do I think I am good enough?”, “What if this isn’t what I should be doing?” These are questions today that I am not even sure of the answer to, but I’ve come to terms. I am good. I am enough.

At that moment, I knew I was ready for my first professional experience in the stressful world we live in.

In July of 2021, I knew I wanted to help people. I didn’t want to work for a corporation that marketed products, or for a business that touted untrue, fairly meaningless, beliefs. Throughout my undergraduate degree I partook in an R15, NIH, Grant-funded research study that examined the learning differences between non-English speaking, special education, students versus their monolingual peers. That was the first experience I realized that society doesn’t treat anyone fairly. It was then I realized I wanted to make that known to the world. I thought, “How does the world not know this is happening?” However, it’s clear that we do know this, but choose to do nothing. I knew my next dedication was to be in the areas of research, and advocating for answers, new knowledge, to better support these causes.

I accepted a regulatory, legal, position with Creighton University. I moved to the cityscape of Omaha, NE.

08 May 2022 - Continued uncertainty and into the unknown

Today, a year later, here I am. Wow. Experiences full of practice, aided with resilience, have surely gotten me here. Sitting here, finishing this reflection, I just want to remind myself, and anyone reading this: the World is maintained by change. Be willing to change with it and to change it. Step out of your comfort zone, be uncertain, and accept the unknown. We’re curious beings. Explore that curiousity. That is when you become closer to your purpose. Whatever that purpose is, is up to you.

Be well.